You know you are a Delhiite when...

You know you're a Delhiite when...

1. You don't want to admit that you were actually born in Meerut.
2. Only Black Label or Jack Daniel will do at your teenage son's B'day.
3. You don't dare serve anything other than Blue Label at your own do.
4. Your secretary has a better mobile than your counterpart in Chennai.
5. You try botox because there's a trail sale on at the local Kaya clinic.
6. You order Diet Coke with butter chicken for a "light" lunch.
7. Your monthly liquor bill exceeds your declared income.
8. You've visited Sakura twice and now you're an expert on Japanese food.
9. You gush about Masala Art but your heart lies with Moti Mahal.
10. You ask the fruit seller down the road to get you only organic fruits.
11. You go to Bangkok for an office offsite and organise a Sardar DJ.
12. You don't know whether your office will be open or sealed tomorrow.
13. Your party list has a politician, bureaucrat or DCP, in that order.
14. You have a sarson da saag lunch party catered by Maurya to declare winter.
15. You jump up to dance whenever your disc plays Punjabi songs.
16. You can boast of atleast two relatives or contacts in every major ministry.
17. An astrologer, numerologist and tarot card reader are on your speed dail.
18. You prefer to massage chocolate all over your body rather than eat it.
19. You think VFM is the name of the nwest mall in town.
20. Your black Toyota Camry has bullet proof windows.
21. You drive to the neighbourhood park for your morning walk.
22. You're at a fab party and all the good looking young men around you are gay(??? Hell nooooo)

(From India Today magazine, originally published in the Oct 9 2006 issue)