Poona - Shoona

Dear Reader,
As some of you reading this blog might be aware, I was on a 10 day trip to Poona and it was great. Met some not-so-old friends and also got to meet some people whom I didn't really expected to meet, in other words whom I had suspected of having left Poona. Therefore, starting from today, I will blog daily (in 5-6 posts) all the happening from these 10 days, albeit, in reverse chronology, that is to say, I will start from the 'end' of the trip and move backwards towards the 'start'. Enjoy.

As my auto rickshaw slid down from the National Highway 24, I realized the potholes didn't exist anymore; the driver doesn't have to drive the zigzag way to avoid them. A new, though still patchy road had come up. After all there were the local Municipal Corporation elections in Delhi since the 10-12 days I was in Poona. It was the train from Poona I had taken to New Delhi and gotten off at Hazrat Nizzamuddin station (a divulge from the New Delhi Railway Station I usually alight at when coming from Bombay or Poona). I had negotiated the auto fare to Rs 50 as it was 10 in the night already, the normal fare being Rs 40 to my place after all the whining of not being able to get a sawaari from my part of the town. It was in a sudden that I had realized that it was already Nazrat Nizzamuddin( a Muslim dominated area of New Delhi where the railway station is located) and it will be much easier and shorter for me if I alight here since nobody was coming to pick me up from the station. I unchained my luggage quickly and almost ran before the train actually leaves the platform and for some reasons I kept doubting if I had forgotten anything on my seat. I pressed my left pocket to check if the cell phone was there followed by the wallet in the rear right. I even searched my bag to find my camera intact. “All is fine”, I said to myself. I hardly opened anything else to be forgotten as the other bag with food and clothes were not fiddled with during the journey. What else could have been left? But I still had this "Have-I-Picked-Up-Everything-From-The-Seat?" feeling. The lady of the opposite seat was still sleeping... on her upper birth. She had dozed off a little while earlier when I and an aged South Indian gentleman from Delhi had taken our conversation to the next level of political intellectualism. She was bored and was repeatedly yawning and finally surrendered to the upper birth. In our previous conversation, she told me that she was a diploma student from FTII, Poona with some fixed notions about what it means to be creative.

L'histoire de la femme de FTII (FTII Girl's Story)
I entered Jhelum Express connecting Poona to Jammu city passing through New Delhi almost at the last moment (oh! Indian punctuality). As I sat on my seat in the extra Air-Conditioned coach, I leaned backwards to catch some air. My throat was sticky was saliva and dry air. I had almost ran about 2 kilometers with 3 bags on each of my shoulder (on one shoulder there were two, silly). The train refused to leave on time. It was already 10 minutes past it's usual departure time when a fleshy girls with shabby clothes arrived with her "coolie". She ordered him to push the biggest suitcase between the cleavage of the two seats leaving no room to keep my legs anywhere apart from the thin aisle. She paid the coolie and tried to settle down, I protested about her lack of consideration for fellow (?) passenger. "I don't have anyplace to keep my legs, this needs to be adjusted elsewhere", I said. "Ok, if you can help me put this suitcase on the upper birth...?", she said in an interrogating tone and quick wit. The baggage must have been more than 25 KGs but I was left with no choice. I weight only a lil’ more than double the size of that suitcase but I was determined not let her have her way. I picked up the suitcase all by myself, she gave it a hand and after a few sliding here and there we finally put it up. While she sat in front of me, I couldn't stop noticing her, albeit, in contempt. Her dirty trousers were sprinkled with traces of a pen fight and it was undoubtedly clear to me that she was wearing it the fifty first time without visiting the laundry. Her chappals (sleepers for some?) had traces of sand as if coming straight from a mud fight while her hair seemed uncombed for days on end. And most appallingly her stomach seemed perpetually filled with food (she virtually bought one food item or the other from every vendor that I saw on the train) and a little more curve and people will start asking her parents if she had brought shame to her family. And to top it all she was wearing a figure hugging T-Shirt. She started the conversation. I do not recall on what topic but she seemed keen on keeping it up. I confined it to the bare minimal and kept looking outside the common window. I attended a few phone calls and confined myself to the soul book I had - India's Foreign Policy by J.N. Dixit. In return she picked took out Impressionist Art by David Boyle. I shrugged the move thinking I had bought and read (?) the book ages ago (Kudos to the collection at Crosswords). But with that, I also questioned the dependence of creative Indians on Western Renaissance and the absence of cradle of an Indian one. It made me recall some of the lines from a book I had read recently - Amrita Sher-gill's biography by Yahodra Dalmia, where she quotes Amrita's Uncle Ervin Baktay, an Indologist. I reproduce those lines to explain what I was thinking: -
"India somehow forgot her own ancient tradition and cultural values and was convinced that by copying the Western forms she can serve her artistic aims best. The educated and learned Indians lost their own sense for works of Eastern Origin, but they got to know only the most rubbish work of Western art. The worst and most shoddy streams of dull naturalism of the 19th century indurate in India. In case a native artist wished to obtain inspiration from the classical Hindu painting or sculpture he was considered as 'too primitive' and no attention was paid to him. On the other hand, second-rates from the West could carry on in India very well by producing mawkish and insipid portraits and landscapes."
(I clearly see the Indian intellectual dependence for creative ideas on Western Renaissance. This probably is as much a result of the Imperialist British strategy to instill in Indians a sense of inferiority complex about their of culture and tradition but also fact that the entire period of Islamic invasions has parted Indians of its rich history of the bygone time and era. At times these texts and artifacts were purposely hidden or destroyed by the aggressor in order to deprive the natives of the cultural inspiration from their past, which was, on the other hand a major reason for the upsurge of Western Renaissance, the ‘rediscovery’ of ancient text and sculptures.)
The girl and I got an on an ‘unargumentative’ (I know this word doesn’t exist) argument - Time as a factor in creativity. As she was studying cinematography her argument was simple. She said it was almost impossible to put a deadline in film making. "For example", she said "how about you want to shoot the scene in sunshine and it rains that day? And even if you get sun after a while it's logically not possible to shoot and the due to the sun movements the shadows also move. What will you do in such a situation; you have to shift the shoot to another day or date. What if the actor falls ill? The question was ok but her voice could be heard from door to door of the coach and she would keep repeating the same things over and over again. I asked her if that’s the case then how things are compensated as far as money is concerned. I gave her my example, of being a journalist. I told her that we had harsher deadlines to follow and spaces are left open for the content to be filled in at the last moment, so we have to get the story or an interview by hook or by crook. "It's not journalism", she said. "You always have alternative content ready, we can't help it", she argued The starting point of the argument was when she told me that one of their previous batch had taken two extra years to complete the course, the reason - "unavoidable circumstances". I asked her if such a thing would have been permissible had they been studying in a private institute, was it a factor that while it costs almost 25 lakh rupees to educate one student for 3 years at FTII, the students only pay a fraction of it? Had they been in a private institute, would they have taken two extra years while paying the full fee. "No", she said. "But here you can (and you should be able to) do it as this is the place where one has to learn.
I hoped that this is not the attitude the FTIIians take outside the campus, today's market is very competitive. We were not longer living in a Soviet era where lot of money was put in to achieve one goal without any time frame. We are living a capitalist 21st century where deadlines hold the key to your success. She wouldn’t budge from her point that creativity should not be bound by time or money. I tried to explain with an example of book publishing, suppose a publishing house signs a contract with an author for a novel/fiction/non-fiction etc. By the time the deadline nears, the publisher start to advertise the book, now if the author is not able to finish it by the time the enthusiasm decreases hence putting down the sales volume. In turn the publisher will not be able to pay the author the same royalty and in some cases he might even refuse to pay him the same about he/she was actually signed for. The lady went quite for a while, I thought she had received by not (doesn’t really mean I wanted her to accept my view), after 5 minutes there she was starting the argument with the same point. I realized I was barking against the wrong tree, I put a full stop.
A few moments later while I was trying to sleep in vain, she popped up a question.
“WHERE DID YOU BUY THIS BAG FROM???????” I woke is a haste to realize what she was asking.
-“Oh! That’s? From FC Road”.
-“WHERE ON FC ROAD???”
-“You know Horn OK Please Restaurant?”
-“No! I don’t”
-“Ok. It’s just next to Wadeshwar, do you know that???”
-“Ummmm, no, I don’t”
-“Ok, Roopali?”
-“YES!”
-“Very close to that.”
I tried to avoid a conversation but couldn’t stop counting the number of times she stopped the vendors to buy something or the other to eat ( vada paos, bread pakoras, Pepsi, Fruiti, Wanter bottles, Chaowmin, Cutlet, you name it), by the end of the journey she was almost a “regular customer” and the vendors were even willing to give her “Credit facility”. I retired with her to talk to a gentleman from the south but residing in Delhi for the past 35 years. I will continue with his story in tomorrow’s post.
Following is a picture I shot some where in Madhya Pradesh (MP). Only a month back while an acquaintance told me that she was going to MP got me curious about the state, I recalled studying the Sanchi Stupa in my 5th Grade Indian Geography book, and I’m sure there are many things I don’t even know about sitting in this Indian heartland, MP is defiantly on my “To-do List” now.





Today: In the evening today while I was to meet a friend from Poona, I went to see an exhibition of Old Delhi sketches by a Delhi based artist called Vikram Kalra at the India International Centre (I later saw the Pakistani Cricketer turned politicial Imran Khan talking about Musharraf at the ICC's lobby with a bunch of men and women). The more I go to see these kind of exhibitions the more fascinated I get about Old Delhi, it’s Havelis, it’s dirt, the hawkers, the streets. I made a list of sketches I saw of the places I want to see on my next trip to Old Delhi. Tomorrow I’m off to Agra for a day to see the Taj Mahal and Fatehpur Sikri. Will report soon. I shall also post some new pictures from Poona and Delhi on Flickr soon ( You can go there from the menu on your right). Good Night, Bon Nuit… Shabba Kahir.

Marasim - Memories Woven in Melody

Mujhko bhee tarkeeb sikhade yaar julahe
Aksar tuhko dekha hai ek ek taana bunte
Jab koi taga toot gaya ya khatm hua, aur sira koi jod ke usmain aage bunne lagte ho
Ke tere is taane main ek bhee gaath girha bundar ki dekh nahi sakta hai koi
Maine to ek bar buna tha ek he rishta, lekin...
Uski saare girehain saaf nazar aateen mere yaar julahe
Mujhko bhee tarkeeb sikhade yaar julahe...

-- Gulzar
(Marasim means relations)

Urban Mozaik

An essay from one of my previous posts has been adapted and published in an online Magazine called Urban Mozaik. The essay can be read here. A big 'fanks' to the publishers, especially Emily.

Puuurfect Relationship... Serthern Styaale

Hey, here are a few tips on how to make your relationship puuuurfect... 'Serthern styaale' ;)

Sexual Haressment or Male Libido?

The following is a question mark to how many people define sexual harresment. So how does one defines it? How does one judge sexual harresment? The article might answer some questions...

"In the days prior to Christ, many believed homosexuality and unnatural sex like sodomy were horrendous crimes. Bible says that God even punished Sodom and Gomorra by fire from heaven, because they practiced homosexuality and anal sex. During the times of Jesus Christ and before, and in many countries even today, adultery is an offence punishable with death. Even the Indian Penal Code holds anal sex, homosexuality and adultery, all as punishable offences.
But, ought these sexual offences really be offences at all? And will they remain as an offence, fifty years from now? The answer to the first question to the vast majority of the masses could only be a definite "yes". The answer to the second question could be a definite "no". The concept of morality, right from the day when man moved out of his caves and lived as a society, evolved around sex. In the early stages of civilization or may be till very recently, the mighty, the rich and the powerful, always had the absolute freedom to enjoy any woman of his choice. Polyandry was the order. Monogamy became a virtue with the spread of Christianity and with the Europeans gaining control over the world by colonizing it. The Victorian Christian morality of monogamy became the universal yardstick of morality, though, monogamy is completely at variance with the way men's brains were "wired" or "programmed" by our genes.
Today scientists tell us that we humans have evolved from small mammals to monkeys, to ape to man. We are also told that 96% of the genes of pigs, 97.5% of Gorillas and 98.4% of Chimpanzees and of us are the same. We both men and women behave the way our brains have been "wired" over the millions of years. Like any other mammal, say lion, stallion, bull, tusker, a man too is aggressive. His first lookout is for food and then sex. Studies in mammals, say lions, cheetahs, stallions, bull, etc. and in humans have shown that like mammals the brain of man too is "wired" to impregnate as many healthy women as possible. A stallion, which is tired of mating the same female, will still enthusiastically mount on a new mare, if offered. One needs to visit the Pune's Stud Farms to observe this. A man who is happily married and had repeated satisfying sex with his wife would still be readily willing to mate if a healthy young woman is available. If he does not, it is not because he is not enthusiastic of the idea, but of external factors like, social environment, morality, religion etc. If he does not get enthused, it could be that the testosterone level in him is much lower. Almost 20% of men constitute this category of homosexuals and men of abnormally low libido.
A woman is not as polygamous as a man, except, a nymphomaniac, who constitutes only a small minority. The sexual drive in woman is low compared to a man. This is because the area devoted to sex in her brain is only 40% of that of a man. The brains of men and women are different. A man can have sex without love and can have a perfectly enjoyable sex with a woman who is a total stranger to him. Otherwise, red light streets would have been empty. The areas of his brain dealing with sex and love are different and unconnected unlike in women. The MRI/PET scans establish this. He behaves exactly like any dominant male mammal like lion, bull, ox, dog or rhino. All that his unconscious mind looks for is whether the woman is capable of conception. And a woman with 7 to 10 ratio of waist to hips is the woman with right curves, the healthiest and most ideal for conception. That is why belly dance where the curves are exposed is highly popular among men. Sex in woman is more in her ears. For a man it is much in his eyes. That is why men are so fond of nudity and throughout the history they were after pretty woman and fought many battles to possess them. Not alone men even the Gods, for Gods after all is only an imagination of man. A woman cannot think of sex without love for the areas of her brain relating to love and sex are interconnected.
That is why she cannot condone her man who has an adulterous relationship with another woman even when he swears that he has only a mere physical sex and no emotional relationship. She can think of sex only if she loves a man. She therefore does not believe him and breaks the relationship. Scientists say all relationships are initiated by men and broken by women.
A woman looks for emotional relationship, for a man who will protect her and her offspring during her pregnancy and thereafter. It is believed that humans could evolve from monkeys to a more intelligent species, homo sapiens, as over millions of years woman opted for intelligent men to mate with, than those merely stout. In those days women did consider the physical prowess of the men as well. Because the world then was full of dangers and her men ought to be fit enough to fight or chase away predators. The modern women too look for the physical strength in a man. Her unconscious mind can in 3 seconds decode the state of a man's immune system and find him attractive only if his immune system is complimentary to or stronger than of her own. She is attracted by men who are more resourceful, rich and powerful. That is why we often find Presidents and Prime Ministers and business tycoons and celebrities embroiled in sex scandal. High testosterone leads to success. Success leads to still higher testosterone levels. It is a pity to see them fall in disgrace as they cannot control their sex drive.
During the primitive days like in mammals, many men who were not strong and dominant enough were to die as virgins. Among mammals only the strongest alone can enjoy sex. And it has to prove itself to be so. They in the process get seriously maimed or even get killed as right to sex is exclusive to the winner. Females among some mammals like rhinos, dogs, etc. would still demand the successful male further establish the quality of its genes by making it further run for hours before sex. The nature may be cruel but it has a purpose. It wants the best genes alone to go down so that the species could continuously improve its strength and quality so that it does not get extinct. It also wants the strongest male with the best genes to sow it as vast as it could by impregnating as many females as possible. This has precisely happened in human as well. Had the weak and the meek equal sexual rights as the strong and powerful, the human species would not have survived. Today DNA helps us to trace the ancestry of a man to hundreds of years in the history. Scientists today could trace the DNA to the great warrior,Genghis Khan Mangolia. It appears that, during his life he had mated hundreds of women and he had thousands of children.
Science also tells us that woman seduces man and more so during ovulation and virtually jumps on him at that point of time where she has the highest chance of conception. How does a woman seduce a man? Her "unconscious mind" tells her that for a man what is paramount in him is not her richness, background and education but her curves, her healthy body. A man thinks about sex every 58 seconds and young men in their early 20s, with the high flow of testosterone in the blood, gets erection at every 5 minutes. So a woman seduces a man with her body, exposing her nakedness and showing her curves. Scientists have observed that woman on ovulations wears the most sexually explosive or seductive dress. She would wear the shortest of skirt and the top that would expose her assets. All this is not done by her conscious mind.
The seduction she resorts to she may not be realizing. Like animals, though in much lesser degree, we humans too have ability to assess the quality of genes of the opposite sex. An unconscious mind of a woman can gauge the immunity system of a man. Like that men too unconsciously get attracted to a woman who is ovulating. Our unconscious mind makes most of these decisions, both in men and women. However, we are unaware of that. Our society which is unduly influenced by the conservative Victorian Christian values and Islamic influence cannot reconcile with these basic biological factors.
Sex is the most passionate instinct in humans, next only to food. All the laws which the society had imposed on him are against his biology. Human beings are no longer the cave men; we cannot allow our behaviour to be solely guided by biology. If that were so, like the mammals, we will fight, kill or maim the competitor for sex. Even the word 'competitor' is incorrect. Male mammals, say a lion, stallion, bull or a monkey, which is closely related to humans, will fight to death for sex even when plenty of females are around for both the fighting males to mate with. Here, the nature wants only the strongest alone to procreate so that the best genes are passed down and the species constantly improve.
It is the very testosterone which is the cause for all sexual crimes and aggressiveness that has helped the human species to survive, fighting and killing enemies and dangers. However, in the modern world, unlike primitive days, testosterone has much less utility. Man today is facing a role reversal. He cannot succeed in life with aggressiveness. In many a business and profession to be successful, he needs to learn to handle things with smoothness and gentleness, the womanly skills. In the jungle world, his survival depended on his physical strength. Today his success depends on his ability to communicate soothingly. However, his brain is not wired for that. Millions of years he has spent in the jungles speechlessly for hours waiting for his prey. Today, the men's brain which is wired to lead a life in the jungle, hunting animals, is unsuitable for most of the modern day avocations. His spatial skills' use is limited to jobs requiring navigational skills. He could be good in engineering, mathematics, science, driving, sports, etc. But, in all other areas, men stand to great disadvantages. The government and the societies should recognize this biological incompatibility of a modern man with the surroundings he lives. And the laws should be shaped accordingly.
Unfortunately, the Courts and the law makers are completely disconnect with this reality. The Supreme Court, disturbed by the "growing" sexual harassment in work places, made a law banning sexual harassment in its celebrated judgment in Visakha's case. It defined sexual harassment as an "unwelcome, sexually determined:(a) physical contact and advances,(b) demand or request for sexual favors and(c) sexually colored remarks or any other physical/verbal or non-verbal conduct of a sexual nature".
This judgment of the Supreme Court is a much hailed one. It certainly is entitled for such acclaim going by the accepted social norms. But the said judgment is in complete disconnect with the biology. All men ogle at woman. And in terms of the Supreme Court's dictum, it is a sexual harassment. Woman too ogles at men. But they are never caught, because women with their wider peripheral vision can see all of a man without being seen as staring at him.
Men commit most crimes, murder, robbery, etc. He is unable to shape himself to the requirement of modern society. Because of the way his brain is wired, he continues to violate the sexual mores of the society. Even eminent men like John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton etal are accused of being adulterous. Young men harass and sometimes even rape women. No law made by the society, however stringent, could be a solution. Repressive laws and social ethos can only aggravate the situation. Testosterone needs an outlet. That is good sex. And good sex is a health tonic too. Where sexual opportunities are repressed, the men find an outlet in aggression, crime and destructiveness.
We need a liberal approach to sexual morality as we cannot bring down the crimes and aggressiveness in our men by injecting estrogen, a soothing female hormone, except may be in the case of aggressive prisoners. It is equally unscientific to control the aggressiveness, crimes, particularly relating to sex by laws which are absolutely in disconnect with our biology. The Supreme Court in banning ogling, touching, sexually coloured remarks, etc., has completely ignored the biology. It is like expecting a lion not to taste meat. The biology of man requires him to take the initiative in a sexual relation with a woman. The woman's biology welcomes it. "Oxytocin", a hormone in women, generates a desire to be touched. Woman welcomes and enjoys all the sexual initiative by men, unless it denigrates into a crass behavior. Being ignored by men could even affect the psyche of a woman very badly.
The whole judgment was based on the Victorian concept of sexuality. The whole world today value the liberal sexual mores of India, the land of kamasutra and Ajanta caves. The fact that human beings are also mammals guided by our genes and our sexual behavior is guided by our unconscious mind based on the wiring of our brain was completely forgotten. Our unconscious mind which works at a supersonic speed cannot be influenced by any law or any judgment. The judgment of the Supreme Court has not helped in any manner in reducing sexual harassment at work places. And it will not. But, what is required is an attempt to evolve our social values in consonance with our biology and to make laws recognizing it. Our laws need to be completely overhauled. The all emphasis ought not to be on punishing people. Or in defining more heads of sexual offences or prescribing harsher punishment. The remedy lies in promoting liberal thinking. Accepting sex as a fact of life and not as a sin. And bringing in sexual education from upper primary classes and evolving a healthy concept of sex. Sex is so complex that no society could ever be free of sex related problems. Sexual problems and disorders ought to be accepted with a broader mind. Many sexual problems are amenable for treatment. They can be cured by medication and also by psychotherapy. The root cause of sexual offences should also be addressed. Rejection and lack of touch and love and violence at young ages produces sex offenders. Even pet patting therapy has worked wonders among sex offenders.
No law can suppress sexual desire or aggressiveness. On the contrary, a liberal society can better manage the male aggressiveness. Prostitution is the oldest of professions. It is made a crime in India. Not because, the Indian culture and tradition disapproved it. Prostitution was made an offence because of the British. British did so in those days because of the influence of the medieval Christianity on the then British society. For the medieval Christianity, sex was a sin. And the only exception was sex for procreation. Homosexuality was forbidden. Sodomy was unnatural sex. Oscar Wild had to go to jail for homosexuality. The British have changed with the times. Homosexuality is no more an offence. Sodomy is no more an unnatural sex and prostitution is not a great taboo. But India, after independence, refused to evolve into a liberal society. The British are only strict about pedophilia. But we are least concerned about that. We are concerned more about the morality of dance bars. We need to make an honest introspection. We must take a break from our hypocrisy. All men commit adultery at heart. They cannot be blamed for that because that is in their genes. But we must show the honesty to publicly standby what privately we swear. Those who for moral reasons still cannot think of legitimization of prostitution need only think of the words of Christ "whichever among you who have not sinned shall throw the first stone at her".
In India, Bombay is a case in hand. Unlike Delhi, prostitution is open and accepted by all, though not yet by law. And Bombay has fewer sexual crimes than Delhi where tracking prostitution in hushed up places is a lucrative business for the Police. Pedophilia, to my mind, is the most horrendous crime. They do it because of genetic disorders. They cannot distinguish between a matured woman and a child. But whatever be the reason, we cannot allow a pedophile to be let loose. The Police and the society must protect our innocent kids and girls from Pedophiles, rapists and other sex maniacs as if from a poisonous snake. Keep them in jail, treat them recognizing that their crime is because of their genes or upbringing, both. And don't release them till they are completely cured even if it means a life imprisonment.
Moralists and conservatives could ask: Are we humans mere animals? Hasn't God given us the power of knowing evil and good? The answer is: All will depend upon our genes. If our genes have that ability, we will. If not, not. May be, nature could also play a small role. Christ did not endorse any punishment by man. He abhorred judging another. Great as he was, he knew the futility of punishment and asked for forgiveness of the sinner. He practiced it to perfection by his last words on the cross: Lord forgive them for they know not what they are doing."

© CNN-IBN

This article is reproduced from CNN-IBN's website. The original writer is Mathews J Nedumpara

Biji Da Bioscope - II

Continued from the previous post...

Biji is a lil' bewildered these days even sad. She desperately wants to go back to her native Jamshedpur. But she can't go right now; she has to wait till my cousin arrives in India from Holland. So a few days back Biji somehow recalled that her daughter (my aunt) from Amritsar was here and while leaving she asked Biji to come stay for a few days with her. Now Biji wants to go to Amritsar. But still the problem stays - who will take Biji to Amritsar? I asked her the same question. By the way, for the past 10 days or so Biji has occupied by bed (and room) while I sleep in another. And while I sit in front of my computer she keeps talking to me, keep asking me questions. The other day she woke up 6 in the morning (while I was still on my computer) and in a fit started to walk out of the bed. "I must tie up the calves or they may escape", she shouted, perhaps recalling an distant past when they used to rare cattle’s in their house’s veranda. So since Biji's long term memory is as solid as ever she clearly remembers she used to have calves and if not tied might go out looking for fodder. She still remembers the river in her native village in Punjab, the fields, some names from the village and her brother (whom she calls bhaa). But she has trouble with the number and names of her kids.

From what my mother tells me, Biji was not the most kindest mothers. She would make her daughters do most of the work. And the lazy ones needed to get used to the music if the work's not done according to her. And well to be frank her attitude hasn't changed even till today. She wants things done her way or they don't happen. She frequently curses her body for not being fit as she would have liked it to be so she doesn’t have to be dependent on others for moving. She is also a bold woman. Modesty is not in her character. If offered something new most of the time she shows a pretending disinterest - "Angoor da ki khanaa?" (what to eat of grapes?) she says whenever I bring her a bowl full of grapes. But then if you leave the bowl, you'll find it empty in no time. She wants her pills all at the right time and any delay is not met with any outer courtsey. The other day she asked mom this - "Apne aadmi nu keh ki mainnu 60 Rs deve, mainu ticket khareedni hai" (Tell you man to give me 60 Rupees, I need to a buy a ticket).
She is also apparently searching for her money, which her brother (???)(he’s no more) gave her at a wedding but has been confiscated by her son (where she was staying earlier). Also the other day I asked her if she can stay alone for a while while I needed to take my mother to the hospital. “Yes”, she said. After a few minutes we dropped the plan. An hour later, while Mum was in the kitchen she walked up to her and asks “Tennu hospital nahi janna apne deor de naal?” (Aren’t you going to go to the hospital with your brother-in-law (??? WTF mate).

Biji Da Bioscope

Hello to all of you reading this blog. Before I start with anything, I want to apologize to the regular and not so regular readers of this blog for not being able to update it with regular posts. But at the same time I also thank some of you for their encouragement to help me keep this blog alive.

For the past one week or so I and my family have a guest and rather not a usual one. My mother calls her 'Biji', a Punjabi word for mummy, I have taken a clue from her since I was a kid and call her (and my paternal grandmother) by the same name, albeit both are my grandmothers. A few posts back I wrote about her. She is over 80 and has trouble walking and climbing the stairs. We brought her from my uncle's house where she has been staying for the past 3 months. The last time we went bring her to our home we returned empty handed for she didn't recall calling us the previous night to come and take her. Being in her 80 her voice has gone a little course and most of the time her utterances are almost a murmur. Most of the time she talks to us when she needs something, water for example or when she needs to go to the bathroom. Initially when she came she had trouble using the facility but now she's ok. But she still needs someone to guide her till the door for she can't remember the location every time. Same goes for her room. She just starts walking in one or the other direction till she reaches one of the three doors. Then she would stand there and stare at anybody who's sitting inside through her high powered glasses which makes her eyes look like a golf ball. "Where is my quilt?" she would ask with weary eyes. "Did you change the bed sheet too", she continues. "No, Biji, you have come to the wrong room, your room(which apparently is my room) is to the other side", we would tell her. For a split second she would stare in disappointment at us, perhaps saddened at her own mistake, after all she has walked almost 10 steps on her own. "Acha! It’s on the other side?", she would realize and takes a U-turn in 2 steps and start walking in the opposite direction. I usually take hand and guide her through lest she this time walks up to the mail door and ask us to open it. The other day I woke on my parent’s bed where I've been sleeping for quite a few days and grabbed the newspaper, Mum and Dad were out while my sister was in the bathroom. Mum instructed me to take care for her before she left. Biji turns up suddenly at the door and asks me to show her the way to the toilet to which I obliged. I brought her at the door, opened it and lit the bathroom and said "Ok Biji, go in". She looked at me with a puppy dog expression and said "No, I don't want to go there, I'm going to the room", and just whisked off indifferently; I just stood there, staring at her audacity...

To be continued in the next post...

The U-Turn

Delhi, two weeks back...
and then suddenlythen autumn arrived...

but just when you thought it's over...

and this is today morning...


.... thats "Dilli ki Sardi" for you... savour it while you can...

Assorted Pictures

Assortment of pictures from the Surajkund Crafts Mela...